For Friends Only.

Alas, this blog has become one of those irritating blogs that "ARE FOR FRIENDS ONLY". Of course, they have their reasons - as I have mine. Nevertheless, I welcome anyone who wants to read my blog but you'd have to have an account first. Add me and I'll most prolly add you back. Logically, please request for me to add you instead of adding me 'secretly' and expect me to add  you back. *slaps forehead* I don't check my User Info all the time you know, so I won't know if I had people added me unless informed. *hint for those who tried to do so previously*

Have a nice day!

Drop it like it's hot!

What kind of fucktard would think that "eek" is insulting.

"eek" is more like an "aiks"

or "sorry, wrong number"

eek =  -_-"

baka des.

When the bitch try to get an attitude, drop it like it's hot! drop it like it's hot!

Sad, real sad.

Can't help but feel pity.

Words of Wisdom from Mom.

I had dinner today overlooking the whole of KL - a splendid view from the skies. No, I wasn't floating mid-air, although I wish to, but I had dinner at the revolting revolving KL Tower's Sri Angkasa Restaurant. A pleasant experience, I would say.

Anyways, after a so-so buffet dinner I had a short counseling session with dear-o-mama.

Basically I told her about the predicament I've been having with my friends lately, about how I've been having this 'problem' with etiquette and manners, etc.

I told her my stand is, I really only do the things I do because I really treat the people around me as friends, and as good friends that is. Actually, I used to have a problem getting friends, and by the advice of my older brother, I started treating everyone as my good friend - to my demise I guess.

So I'm never caught up with all these formalities and courtesy nonsense crap, for I judge (if I may use that word) people base not on how they behave, dress themselves, or even speak, but by their heart. Deep in the core.

And I do all these things which I enjoy the people who are close to me, do to me, and so on and so forth.

And that's when her display of wisdom started.

Basically, she started of by saying that no matter what level of friendship we have set for ourselves on others, we can't impose it on them. So, even if I treat them as like sworn blood-brothers or something, they don't have to do the same in return.

And it's not necessarily a right and wrong thing, but really a difference of comfort levels. And some people even have a cap on the level of friendships they allow with the people in their lives. And in fact, I should have too - like not trust everyone.

But I still really don't get it and it frustrates me when people do not tell it to my face. It's not like I'm "gee out mah face!" kinda person. I really take my relationships seriously.

So, alas, I was reminded (by someone else) that I live in a world with gay people - and that, by far, are the worst people group. Coz even aunties that bitch keep it within the household, or 'family'. But us gay men ladies, everyone's a sista!

I really wanted to do a complete lockdown of my character, as suffering as it may be. It's not that I'm admitting I'm wrong, but for the sake of understanding the people around me - ah, heck it.

just do it. (or nothing, actually)

But then again, too much and I have no manners. Too little, and I'm not giving face! wtf.

I think P-chan is right. I really don't understand people, as much as I would like to think that I do.

And maybe it's because I freely give so much allowance to people in my life that I forget that I may actually need to earn that allowance for myself.

Ah wells, life goes on.

Don't know.

Wish I could be the one, the one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you that I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me

You need someone
Willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever
Baby, that's something I can't do

Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie

I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can find some way to understand
I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go but deep in my heart I know
This is the kindest thing to do

You'll find someone
Who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me

Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime

I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye

The morning after I came...

came out!

The talk lasted from 11 something till almost 2am last nite. I slept only around 4.30 and I just woke up.

It's kinda weird, this feeling I'm having. Part relief, part fear, even part regret. I dunno what's in store for me as I haven't gone down and 'meet the parents'. As pointed out by SODA, last night might've gone well but today they might've changed their mind! *eek*

I really hope nothing's changed and it's live and let live again. That's the way I've always wanted it and one point I really pushed across my mum was that after struggling for so many damn years I'm really damn tired. Having to hide this hide that, sneak here sneak there. I told her she may have struggled only recently, but I have all my life, technically. I'm glad she really understood that.

It's also uneasy for me, I told her, to be this son that's a high achiever and urm, someone that's I know my parents are really proud of and then...having this 'problem' to just ruin it all really makes me feel...helpless and misjudged, yanoe? And she assured me she's still very proud of me. The family is.

I need to get my passport done if I ever wanna make it to bangkok. It's like next weekend zomg! Should I tell my parents? Still too soon huh?


This is kinda mah-fan. Knowing the lazy me I would've just dragged on with the hiding. Like a hermit crab it's scary to move out of my shell and get into a bigger one. But I know this will make me grow up more. It's about time.

Edit: Interestingly, I saw the date and it's Sept 11. The date where the two mighty towers came down. Maybe it's coincidental, but I'd like to think its symbolic of my mum's and my defenses and walls crumbling down. As of today, I pray we grow closer.
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    distressed surreal

I Have Been Immortalized!

I don't mean to brag, but I was worthy of art! LOL.

Ok, so mr talented artist a.k.a. the famous Ben Wu a.k.a. jade_teacup has drawn some cartoon inspired by yours truly. Two of them!

I'm so excited I almost had an orgasm viewing them. *eek*

My dear friend Ben Wu's probably the most talented artist I know to date. Well technically, we've never met but he's so kind and funny to me! He has 3 successfully published books and you can even buy them on Amazon! Here's the link of the site and the cover of the three said books:

1st        2nd      3rd!

I am truly truly honoured that someone even bothered to draw a pic of me, let alone two! And let alone someone so cool! Apparently, another's on the way. Yey!

Ok, so without further ado, here are the masterpieces!:

Lean-to-sam?( I've taken the liberty to name it and I hope he doesn't mind. *eek*)
The first time I saw it I admit I thought I looked kinda weird - like my nose is the size of my eyes, eyebrows and lips combined - lol. But the more I saw it the more I loved it! It was an earlier draft that I saw and so after he added more details I love it even more! hehe Also, I realise that it kinda reflects my personality, this pic. I'd like to think that I'm laid back, simple and cheerful all the time. And you can always lean on me (thus the lean-to because I look like a lean-to, I dunno if anyone will get me but nvm...). *big smile*

But don't mess with moi, see how I hold that banana? How threatening...tee hee. And no, I'm not carrying a dildo along with me - it's like some chinese water/wine bottle thingy. (Mr talented artist, I decided that the one with red cheeks is the best. After all, it's truer to your style and makes me more cheerful! lol) Once again, I'm amazed with the intricate details on the background and the robe.

In the artist's opinion, this drawing looks more like me - and I concur. Nevertheless, I was quite intrigued by the oh-so-sensual pose as I wouldn't be caught dead doing that. I mean I've done walks ala Cindy Crawford, posed like Beyonce and even sang like Mariah but....ok who am I kidding... LOL The quote is not something I would say personally but I wouldn't oppose, would I? *wink wink* (Yes, miss J and Princess Petrina would say that my ass is bigger than that but you're just jealous!) lalala...

Oh, don't you just love the calligraphy?

I like the pics so much I've actually put it as my msn avatar for awhile now. Lean-to-sam's has just been officially made to be my desktop wallpaper hehe.

lalala...Me so happy.

oh btw, I'm a graduate! (well, technically not after the ceremony) But what a better way to celebrate? Thanks again, mr talented artist. I'm truly, truly honoured.


This is driving me INSANE!

Even the super inspiring song is making my mind burst out in agony.

Try this, I bet your IQ will increase. (very addictive though)

I've made it to lvl 18 so far...let's see who's best!

24 - 7 = walrus?! wtf HAHAHAHAHAAH

Beware, some answers make COMPLETELY no sense!

*can't stop laughing*
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    ditzy ditzy