I had dinner today overlooking the whole of KL - a splendid view from the skies. No, I wasn't floating mid-air, although I wish to, but I had dinner at the
revolving KL Tower's Sri Angkasa Restaurant. A pleasant experience, I would say.
Anyways, after a so-so buffet dinner I had a short counseling session with dear-o-mama.
Basically I told her about the predicament I've been having with my friends lately, about how I've been having this 'problem' with etiquette and manners, etc.
I told her my stand is, I really only do the things I do because I really treat the people around me as friends, and as good friends that is. Actually, I used to have a problem getting friends, and by the advice of my older brother, I started treating everyone as my good friend - to my demise I guess.
So I'm never caught up with all these formalities and courtesy nonsense crap, for I judge (if I may use that word) people base not on how they behave, dress themselves, or even speak, but by their heart. Deep in the core.
And I do all these things which I enjoy the people who are close to me, do to me, and so on and so forth.
And that's when her display of wisdom started.
Basically, she started of by saying that no matter what level of friendship we have set for ourselves on others, we can't impose it on them. So, even if I treat them as like sworn blood-brothers or something, they don't have to do the same in return.
And it's not necessarily a right and wrong thing, but really a difference of comfort levels. And some people even have a cap on the level of friendships they allow with the people in their lives. And in fact, I should have too - like not trust everyone.
But I still really don't get it and it frustrates me when people do not tell it to my face. It's not like I'm "gee out mah face!" kinda person. I really take my relationships seriously.
So, alas, I was reminded (by someone else) that I live in a world with gay people - and that, by far, are the worst people group. Coz even aunties that bitch keep it within the household, or 'family'. But us gay
ladies, everyone's a sista!
I really wanted to do a complete lockdown of my character, as suffering as it may be. It's not that I'm admitting I'm wrong, but for the sake of understanding the people around me - ah, heck it.
just do it. (or nothing, actually)
But then again, too much and I have no manners. Too little, and I'm not giving face! wtf.
I think P-chan is right. I really don't understand people, as much as I would like to think that I do.
And maybe it's because I freely give so much allowance to people in my life that I forget that I may actually need to earn that allowance for myself.
Ah wells, life goes on.